Starting to plan the Wedding...

When I was 2 I was a bridesmaid for my Aunt's wedding and I've been pretty much planning my big day since then. Surely that should make the actual planning easy?

Wrong!

Turns out that after 20 years of planning I have developed some VERY specific ideas as to what I want. Example one - I always envisioned myself having TWO small (between 4 and 7 yrs old) BLONDE bridesmaids dressed in lovely pale blue dresses - unfortunately I only have access to ONE blonde bridesmaid, her red-headed sister and a brunette. I'm not going to turn into a complete bridezilla and demand that their mothers dye their children's hair but the inclusion of THREE multi-hair-coloured bridesmaids was not in the original plan.

However, the bridesmaid issue pales into in significance when faced with the issue of venue-hunting.

I've never wanted to get married abroad, the idea that I wouldn't be able to taste my cake, meet my florist, see the room and personally decorate it terrifies me and the thought of having to rely on baggage service to make sure my Wedding Dress arrives in the right country at the right time is something I really don't want to experience. In case you hadn't sussed this out - I'm a bit of a control freak and I'd much prefer my wedding to happen where I can have complete control over what goes where when.

A quick internet search reveals that there are 26 Wedding venues within 18miles of my house. Surely I'm bound to find one I like in there? 

First step - remove those that are a hotel/spa/don't offer exclusivity (I don't want random people wandering into my wedding and I certainly do not want to meet another Bride) - we're now down to 10

Now I don't know why hitched.co.uk automatically chooses 18miles as an acceptable distance to travel as according to my mother, it is not. She has made it quite clear that I WILL be getting ready at home before being picked up in a nice swish car and taken to my wedding venue and that she doesn't think that we should be travelling more than 30minutes.

 So now we're down to 5.

One is vetoed by dad as 'it's on a silly road'

One is vetoed by H2B as he went to a wedding there that ended in divorce

One is vetoed by mum as 'you have to drive through a not-very-nice area to get to it'

So now we are down to two.

On paper they both look stunning. However a visit to the first one throws up a very different reality - all of the trees look dead (apparently they are not spring but summer trees), the aisle is tiny, there is a pillar in the middle of the room, and the wedding breakfast room is too big for the number of people we want.

By this point it looked like the dream wedding I'd been planning for 2 decades was not going to happen.

One venue left to view. I was feeling grumpy. It was raining. We had ran out of orange juice. Things did not look good.

And then we found it. It is perfect. Not too big, not too small. Rustic enough to have a 'British family wedding' feel to it but still grand enough to say 'yes-this IS my big day'. It has a grand piano. It has a heated outdoor area. It has a lake. It has a big grassed area to play lawn games on. In short it is everything I had always dreamed my big day to be like.

Except for one thing - no sky lanterns - but HEY - I guess I can compromise on that!

Introducing the main character...

I thought for my first blog post it might be nice to introduce one of the characters who is bound to turn up in many of these posts, my naughty dog B. He is a beagle approaching his second birthday and although he looks adorable anyone, and I mean anyone, who has met him will tell you he isn't exactly the best behaved dog in the world...

Picture the scene, a Friday night, me and H2B are curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine after a lovely meal, watching 8 out of 10 cats and feeling generally relaxed when suddenly a tri-colour blur rushes in from outside, jumps over his bed, across the living room and lies down on the rug before producing a CRUNCH! Being the concerned owner that I am I reluctantly unwrapped myself from the pile of blankets that were needed despite the fact that we are in August (more rants about the British weather sure to follow) and went to see what was happening.
B had decided to try to eat a snail which was now crawling around on the rug whilst he sat there looking decidedly confused. Luckily the snail was rescued and put safely over the fence but because it was not possible to determine exactly where the crunch had come from and whether he actually had eaten any other snails we decided to worm him. Now anyone who has a dog will know that getting them to take tablets is not that easy, factor in that B is a beagle aka. a scent hound and that removes the chance to hiding it in his food as he'll sniff it out and spit it out - getting him to take tablets is not an easy task but with the help of some Stem Ginger and Whiskey cheese it was managed (although I was not happy that he got the rest of my designer cheese!). But even after this ordeal the worst was still to come...

The sulks. 

Having never been wormed myself I cannot say whether it is a particularly pleasant experience but judging by B's reaction it is not, if looks could kill I certainly wouldn't be writing this!
I put up with the sulking for 3 days before I crumbled and went and bought him a new toy - a sturdy 'indestructible' toy - which lasted a whole 6 minutes. Later that evening I decided to try again with a different toy that seemed to be even more 'indestructible' - this is how that turned out...

I know I should learn but I can't help but feel that someone, somewhere does actually have a toy that is indestructible!